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Nonhlanhla: Hi, it’s Nonhlanhla here. Uh, today, it is the 29th of September, 2024, and I am in my room. My mom and I went to the dress lady for the matric dance, and we just came back like a few minutes ago.
Lesedi: Nonhlanhla tries on her new dress. It’s dusty, pink floor length with a train. Then there’s this intricate bead work and a bejewelled flower on the right shoulder. In a couple of weeks, she’ll wear this dress to her matric dance. Matric dance is a lot like prom and it’s a really big deal in South Africa. People go all out.
Nonhlanhla: Um, okay, let me just wear the heels, um, to complete the look. And yeah, just hope I don’t fall.
Lesedi: She walks out into the living room. Her family are on the couch watching a rugby match on TV. She calls for their attention. Then twirls around.
Nonhlanhla: Ta-da.
Nonhlanhla’s Mom: Wow.
Nonhlanhla: Mm-hmm. Yes, girl.
Nonhlanhla’s Mom: You look good…
Lesedi: Nonhlanhla’s brother and dad barely pull their eyes from the screen, but her mom and sister take it all in.
Nonhlanhla: Any opinions?
Nonhlanhla’s Mom: You look good. You look nice.
Nonhlanhla’s sister: You look gorgeous. Fire.
Nonhlanhla’s Mom: You’re beautiful. Let’s just, let…
Lesedi: Anyone who knows Nonhlanhla knows she’s not one to wear dresses. In fact, she is a bit of a tomboy. So right now, her mom and sister can’t get enough of this girly outfit.
Nonhlanhla’s Mom:: You look stunning.
Nonhlanhla: Before the dress gets dirty. Let me just take it off and prepare for bed. Yeah. Okay.
Lesedi: The dance will be the highlight of Nonhlanhla’s year. But there’s so, so much that still needs to fall into place before she can celebrate. In South Africa, matric is the final year of high school. It’s tough and stressful and full of uncertainties.
Nonhlanhla: I have so many things to talk about. I’ll just come back and press record and start talking. So goodnight.
Lesedi: Hi, I’m Lesedi Mogoatlhe. This is Radio Workshop. You might remember Nonhlanhla from a previous episode. She’s the 18-year-old spelling bee champion from Ezinambeni in Emalahleni, South Africa. In that episode, she kept a dictionary by her side and called it her secret weapon. She used it to find the right words to describe her feelings as she navigated high school. It made her feel, well more in control.
Nonhlanhla: It’s just that I have to take things one at a time and have patience. Tenacity. Tenacity. T-E-N-A-C-I-T-Y.
Lesedi: Tenacity. But now she has one thing on her mind passing matric and applying to university. She knows she’s going to need that tenacity to get through it all.
According to Youth Capital, a South African advocacy organization, only four out of 100 kids who enroll in primary school will graduate with a university degree. During Apartheid, most universities in South Africa catered to white students only. Keep in mind then white people only made up about 13% of the population, and in the 30 plus years since the end of Apartheid universities in South Africa haven’t grown enough to meet the demand.
So the question is, will high marks and hard work be enough?
Nonhlanhla: I’m at my desk doing last minute revision for tomorrow’s paper. Um, I’ll writing my last preliminary exam. I’m happy that it’s almost over, but also I’m scared.
Lesedi: It is early September. The matric dance is just under a month away, but now it’s preliminary exam time. They’re not the final exams, but they’re still really important. Good prelim results help you get a place at a university. Nonhlanhla has been studying nonstop for months.
Nonhlanhla: My worry now is that, am I doing enough to actually be counted with those… with the best? Because I can be the best, I can do everything. But apparently someone out there is even working harder than what I think I am doing now.
Lesedi: She has a better chance than most. She’s a high achiever, goes to a pretty good school and gets excellent grades. Plus, her teachers love her and her peers admire her. She was even elected school president.
Nonhlanhla: Like now, one thing that I, that keeps on coming up on my own, like, is that gonna be enough to get me in any university in South Africa? I know the distinctions are there, but is it good enough for them?
Lesedi: We spoke to Clotilde Angelucci, a strategist at Youth Capital. She said it can be really difficult for students to wrap their heads around the whole concept of going to university, especially when no one in their family has ever applied before.
Clotilde: They also feel the pressure of having to be the first people in their family to, um, change the narrative and get out of poverty. The opportunities are really far and few and the number of young people are looking for opportunities, they’re trying to get busy and go to university has so many, the competition is really high.
Lesedi: Nonhlanhla worries about this all the time. She doesn’t want to be a statistic.
Nonhlanhla: You fear that if you don’t go to your university, you are gonna be stuck there for the rest of your life. Most girls where I come from, like most of them are like teen moms. Some of them dropped out. So them seeing me like in matric and none of those things happen to me they’re like, we are proud of you, just keep going, we are right behind you.
Mama, can we talk?
Lesedi: When there’s a lot weighing on her shoulders, Nonhlanhla turns to her mom.
Nonhlanhla: I mean, as it has been 13 years at school and you supported me throughout doing the spelling bee. Yo, what a long journey. My first salary, I’m definitely going to give it to you guys. Mm-hmm. So you can do something very nice.
Nonhlanhla’s Mom: Oh, thank you my baby girl. Don’t put your pressure, you are not owe me anything. Just go to school. You must respect elders and don’t forget to pray my baby. I’m proud of you, my girl.
Nonhlanhla: Yeah, it, it broke my heart a little when she said, you owe me nothing. I, I just feel like there’s so much that I can give back to my mother and say thank you. Because she is being supportive. It made me want to do more.
Lesedi: Everything Nonhlanhla’s doing is a first for her family. She’s her parents’ first child, and now she’ll be the first in her household to graduate high school. Her mom is a hairdresser and sells ice pops to kids in their neighborhood. Her dad is a security guard. They’re not in a position to pay for her to go to university.
They work hard, but tuition is way above what they can afford, and she has two younger siblings that still need to get through school. Nonhlanhla got a scholarship to attend high school. She’ll need the same to get to university.
Nonhlanhla: I don’t know why education in South Africa is expensive, like we are just learning. We, we can’t keep on paying millions and millions for school.
Lesedi: Nonhlanhla will have to fork out 60,000 rand for the first year of university tuition. That’s about $3,000. To put that into perspective, most households in South Africa only bring in about $5,000 a year. So for the majority of South Africans, it’s almost impossible to attend university without some kind of financial aid.
Nonhlanhla as applying to the National student financial aid scheme, the grant would cover tuition, food, accommodation, books and also chip in a bit for travel. Luckily, her financial aid application goes through without a hitch. She’s approved and they agreed to pay for her first year at university.
Another box checked. But the rest of the list is going to have to wait. Since her matric dance is only a week away.
Nonhlanhla: I was so shocked that people actually making their matric dance dresses from scratch, which is like mad expensive 18K for just a dress. Woo. Um, but you know, it only comes once and everyone is just so excited about the day.
Lesedi: The whole matric dance experience can cost so much that some people call it your first wedding.
The tickets are expensive, and then there’s the outfit. Remember Nonhlanhla’s pink beaded dress? And then don’t forget the shoes, the hair, the makeup. Fortunately, Nonhlanhla’s parents don’t need to worry about all this. Her Aunt Busi is covering the costs. She’s a businesswoman who owns a restaurant and Nonhlanhla’s date arranged the car.
At last, the big day is here, and Nonhlanhla’s the star of the show. She’s too busy to even record. So our reporter, Mary-Ann Nobele, is there to capture the scene. The dance is at her school. Mary-Ann and Nonhlanhla’s mom rush ahead to find a good spot where they’ll be able to see Nonhlanhla walk down the red carpet.
There’s a crowd of people in the audience and Mary-Ann bumps into some of Nonhlanhla’s friends.
Mary-Ann: What are you guys doing here?
Friends: We are here for a friend. Yeah, the president. President. President.
Mary-Ann: Oh, you guys are here for Nonhlanhla too? Wow, guys! Okay I’ll talk to you guys after, neh?
Mary-Ann: She’s here.
Lesedi: The president and her date arrive in a four car convoy. She is glowing and her friends are totally freaking out. Nonhlanhla and her date are the last to walk down the carpet.
The theme of the dance is black and gold. From the balloons that welcome them to the black tablecloths and sparkling gold chairs. The school has made a real effort to make the venue super fancy and special for the students.
Nonhlanhla: And like my body was in the venue celebrating with everyone but my mind, I couldn’t stop thinking about finals like 11 days before finals, 11 days before finals. It kept on, like, going back and forth in my mind as if it was like a tune.
Lesedi: A few days after the dance, Nonhlanhla packs away the dress and puts the shoes back in their box. The time for fun is over. Now it’s back to the books. Her school holds a week long camp every year to help students prep for their final exams.
Nonhlanhla: Hi. Um, so today it is the 12th of October, 2024. I am at school camp. Um, we just woke up.
Lesedi: Each day, starts with a prayer at 4:00 AM.
Nonhlanhla: Aren’t you guys tired? Aren’t you guys tired?
Lesedi: Then everyone gets dressed and heads off to breakfast. Classes are from 8:00 AM to 8:00 PM and no access to cell phones. Just studying, studying, studying, and some life lessons.
Teacher: Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, you’ve gotta need to be disciplined and the thing about discipline…
Nonhlanhla: I’m so happy that it’s happening. And also this is like, it’s more of like a reminder that finals are a week away. Yeah, like literally adulthood, adulthood, yo adulthood is knocking by the door.
Lesedi: Nonhlanhla’s at camp with her best friend, Bonolo. They’re both top of their class and they just get each other. Nonhlanhla says they share a special sister like bond. And this isn’t the first time Nonhlanhla interviewed her bestie.
Nonhlanhla: The last time I had that big microphone in front of you, you use this metaphor that, um, a metaphor about birds living a nest. Like how do you feel about that now?
Bonolo: I have to start fending for myself, fighting for myself, and standing my ground on my own with no one to help. Most of the fears I have right now are relating to my future. These things of like, oh, what if I don’t find a partner? I really don’t care. All I want is a degree. That’s all I want.
Nonhlanhla: Like a, a permanent job.
Bonolo: A permanent, a permanent job, a degree relationship with God, and that’s it.
Nonhlanhla: Amen.
Bonolo: There’s nothing more I could ask for. I do hope to like have like a friend group or like a friend, not just like you but resembles you sort of, ’cause you know you’re irreplaceable. Wouldn’t change you for anyone.
Lesedi: On the last day of camp, the students take a pledge. Every matric student across the country has to take it. It’s the last step before they write their final exams. Nonhlanhla invited her parents to attend, but they couldn’t get out of work. Her school is two hours away from home. The ceremony starts with a lot of prayer. And then…
Teacher: I Elizabeth Nomasonto Skhosana hereby solemnly pledge… I Nonhlanhla Sonto Mashabana hereby solemnly pledge…
Lesedi: Nonhlanhla stands alone at the very back of the hall. She holds her microphone close to her chest.
Teacher: To do my best in the forthcoming examination so that I can achieve the personal and academic goals I have set for myself.
Lesedi: But in the middle of the ceremony. Nonhlanhla runs out of the room.
Nonhlanhla: I couldn’t stay in the room any longer. I’m not crying because I’m scared. I just wish my mom was here to actually witness everything. Um, I’m so happy I made it this far. And yeah, just wish everyone was here to witness everything.
Lesedi: Nonhlanhla wrote her final exams in October and November. Christmas has come and gone, so has New Year’s. The holiday vibe has faded, and now she’s anxiously waiting to get her results. Here’s how it works. On results day, you can get your marks online, but Nonhlanhla wants to go about it the old fashioned way. Read them in the newspaper.
Nonhlanhla: I don’t wanna just lay down in my room and wait for the message to pop out and then we celebrate. No, I want the paper. I want us to wait there in the AMs.
Lesedi: Why the AMs? Because the newspaper should arrive at midnight and the only place that sells them at that time is the petrol station. It’s a well-known South African tradition.
I remember it from when I was a matriculant.. You pick up the local newspaper, you page through it to find the results, run your finger down that list until you find your number. Then you can breathe or scream or whatever the moment calls for.
Nonhlanhla: A lot of people are outside. We are waiting for the paper, man. I don’t know. I’m breathing so loudly because we were running, me and my mom. And my cousin Kamo. There’s so many people here. I hope I meet people that I know like, wow, this is exactly how I imagined my right. Like seriously.
Lesedi: But the paper doesn’t arrive at midnight. It comes six hours later and she pages through it to see her results.
Nonhlanhla: We’ve been waiting for this paper for like, what, six hours now, and I’m so happy we got the paper. I’m super excited. Ah, I’m happy. Seriously happy.
Lesedi: She got a bachelor’s pass. That’s what she wanted, what she needed. It’s official. She qualifies for university.
Nonhlanhla: Let me go home. Okay? Okay. I am gonna run. Don’t walk. Happy birthday dear Nonhlanhla. Happy birthday to me. Hi. So today it is the 20th of January, 2025. It is my birthday, um.
Lesedi: Nonhlanhla turns 18, just six days after the results come out. But it’s a weird birthday. She thought she’d have more to celebrate. As of now, none of the universities she’s applied for have accepted her.
Nonhlanhla: I received an email from Stellenbosch University, it was written in bold waiting list, and then at Johannesburg, I was provisionally selected and also Northwest University. They just sent me an email application unsuccessful.
Lesedi: This is where things get tricky. Nonhlanhla is one of over 330,000 matrics who received a Bachelor’s Pass, but there are just over 200,000 places available. So just because she did well doesn’t mean she’ll automatically get in. About 40% of students who qualify for university won’t be able to go. So where does that leave the 40%?
Why does it have to be so difficult?
Clotilde: Because of the systemic challenges that we have in South Africa, like a whole generation of young people is growing up thinking that these systemic challenges are actually, um, personal faults.
Lesedi: That’s Clotilde from Youth Capital.
Clotilde: But it’s not true because if you look at the number of, of young people that suffer from the same experiences, this is definitely systemic. We need to find ways for young people to move forward. And if a young person doesn’t go to university, they probably feel like they’re stuck because what are their options?
Nonhlanhla: I mean, a week after getting results, I thought everything was gonna be smooth sailing. Maybe by now I’d be doing a campus tour, or maybe I’d be packing, but because I haven’t received anything, any feedback. So I am just, yeah, hoping for the best.
I don’t even have the words to explain what I’m feeling right now, but in all honesty, I might be like a little bit disappointed in myself. Um, it’s all new to me like, I’m not even getting used to this feeling of rejection.
Lesedi: The rejection letters have been piling up for weeks, and university orientation starts in seven days. And just Nonhlanhla is starting to consider internships, jobs, just about anything that will keep her busy. She gets a text message.
It’s from the Cape Peninsula University of Technology, CPUT for short.
Nonhlanhla: Dear Applicant, you have been accepted for diploma in journalism. Oh, like I just stood up. I, I started screaming. I don’t know how loud I was, but my mom was taking a bath. She even came out of the bathroom and we just, yeah, we were screaming. I was so happy.
Lesedi: Let’s just say that journalism wasn’t her first choice. It wasn’t even her second or third choice. It was so low down on that list she forgot she even applied for it. But at this point, she’s just excited she gets to go somewhere.
Nonhlanhla: I am so, so happy. I, I have to leave, um, on Sunday or Monday the earliest.
Lesedi: And so Nonhlanhla’s got less than a week to finish up her registration, pack her things and find her way to Cape Town. It’s a pretty insane timeframe.
Nonhlanhla: In less than 48 hours, I’ll be making my way to Cape Town. Um, it’s so exciting. I’m not gonna lie. I can’t wait. But also at the same time, I don’t know if I’m ready to leave this house.
Lesedi: It is a two hour drive from her home to the Joburg Airport. The goodbyes are hard. Nonhlanhla and her mom hug for what feels like forever. Nonhlanhla says she’s worried her tears will flood the airport. But her mom holds her tight and reminds her: do not focus on boys. When Nonhlanhla lands in Cape Town, her mom calls her five times in the first few hours, but its go time. Just like that, the next adventure begins.
Nonhlanhla: I, I don’t even have a word for what I’m feeling now, but I would most definitely visit my dictionary and yeah, I know it always has the answers.
Cape Town? Cape Town is very far, man. Very far. Um, yeah. And how do you say Cape Town without smiling? Uh.
Lesedi: This story was produced by Radio Workshop. Naomi Grewan produced this story with support from Sam Broun This episode was edited by me Lesedi Mogoatlhe, with assistance from Sarah Kate Kramer. It was reported by Nonhlanhla Mashabana, a youth reporter at Emalahleni FM, one of the many community radio stations we support. Nonhlanhla was taught how to record audio diaries by our lead reporter Mary-Ann Nobele.
If you haven’t heard it, check out Mary-Ann’s award-winning series, I will not grow old here, in our podcast feed. Original Music by Qhamani Sambu at Edible Audio in Cape Town. Sound Engineering by Naomi Grewan, Jo Jackson and Mike Rahfaldt. Jo Jackson is our managing producer. Mike Rahfaldt is our executive producer.
Vuyo Lutseke is our executive director. This episode and the work of Radio Workshop would not be possible without the support of Luminate, the Constitutionalism Fund, the Shin Creek Trust, the Ann Levy Charitable Trust, the SCP Foundation, Ford Foundation, and Pam and Bill Michaelcheck. Special thanks to Rob Byers, Clotilde Angelucci at Youth Capital in Cape Town and to Hindenburg for supporting our projects across Africa with audio editing software.
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